19 Mar CHAPTER 4 – Kickin’ Up Dust Feature Story – Issue #10
“They found love in the dust of Arizona’s bucking chutes. It grew like wildflowers with Australian roots.” – B.
// CHAPTER IV // … & just like that, it’s been a year! A year since I crawled onto a plane & was reunited with my gorgeous cowboy after 18 months apart. A year of finally being able to celebrate life together. A year of experiencing holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, wins & anniversaries. A year of living abroad in the Wild West! A year of… absolute ordinary normality.
What a bloody fairytale. Right?
Well, every fairytale has it’s villain & mine is “LANGUISHING!” Yup. Word of the day. That trashy son of a bisshhhhh.
languishing
/ˈlaNGɡwiSHiNG/
adjective
• failing to make progress or be successful
• languishing is a sense of stagnation
• apathy, a sense of restlessness or feeling unsettled
If you’re like me, then the recent apocalyptic few years has offered a perpetual feeling of being blah & like you’re just drifting along & muddling through the motions of life.
It’s hard to explain. But you can be genuinely happy, positive & grateful for what you have, but still be completely unsatisfied & like there’s just something NQR. It’s a vacuum for my mojo!
I find myself uninterested in my passions, uninspired & I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I have no clue what I want to do either, all I know is that it’s not whatever I am doing now.
I sit here in our retro 5th-wheel with Oscar-Puppy for the whole weekend whilst Kyle is in Vegas playing American Football & enjoying the spoils of winning their Silver State Championship.
(Let’s take a moment to appreciate that I got to watch that perfect Wrangler tooshie on TV, whaaat?!) He played phenomenal. The man is a FREAK! He has more athletic talent in his big toe than I have in my entire body. I’m so proud & happy for my human.
But I can’t help wonder, how did I become this person?
How the hell am I stuck at home, working, doing absolutely nothing exciting with my life? Why am I not in Vegas, enjoying the ludicrous glitz & glam of NFR that just happens to be on at the same time. Now, right now! Cowboy Christmas. Whyyyyyy?!
It’s a daunting realization – & a powerful one – to call yourself out & be like “Hey! This is not what you want for your life. You’re not some stay at home rodeo or football WAG. Check yourself!”
I long to be traveling. To be roaming the country, the world! To be living outside my comfort. To be inspired. To be full of energy & passion & thriving in chaos. To be… me!
I just want my spark back!
So, we booked a photoshoot & I rented a stunning, amazing, big-ass, shiny AF dress that made me feel like the sun so I could motherfudging SPARKLE, boi!
… & of course, my handsome, wonderful, supportive dreamboat embraced the ride to help me feel less ‘languishy’!
Thus, we present you with the accompanying photos. A visual reminder that in the end we all become just a story, so make it a picture book & fill it with amazing photos of amazing people & moments & memories that fuel the fire in your soul.
Have you been stuck in the languishing rut?
Psychologist, Adam Grant, released a phenomenal TED Talks about slaying the languishing dragon! For reals, check it out.
All you need is flow or momentum! Getting into a state of flow just requires 3 things – mastery, mindfulness & meaning.
Apparently passive activities like binge-watching Yellowstone won’t get you into a flow (boo!) Instead, you need to actively participate in the world around you & the possibilities are endless.
So, I wanted to share 3 ways to find purpose (especially when you’re not motivated, like little ol’ me!)
1. Master & celebrate your small tasks & wins.
Making progress can help you feel like you’re moving forward.
2. Immerse yourself in what you’re doing.
Put down your phone & focus your full attention on a task or activity.
3. Remember this: You matter!
Connect with other people to help you see how you make a difference to them.
Let’s immerse ourselves in 2022, rediscover our flow & gosh darn it, glow up & shine again.
LIFE TRUTHS // by B. @agirlcalledB
Special thanks to Destiny Morel Photography & entourage for the magic of our photos: Brian Morel, Heather Colvin, Payten Colvin, Scott Colvin, Sara Nicolai, Jude Nicolai + Noche & Murphy (horses)
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