13 Nov USA Recap 2017
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, bloody legends
It’s 12:50am Monday 29th October AEDT & officially a year since my hyper, sarcastic, Aussie-ass got on a plane for USA. I walked out of LAX airport, with my Akubra & backpack thinking, “What the bloody Tom, Dick & Harry have I got myself into?!”
But by crikey it was a hell of a ride & there’s not a day that goes by, that I don’t dream of being back under the American sky.
Nevada to Texas, Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, & LA.
Broken down buses on Halloween Eve & everyone making me say “G’day!”
Wal-Mart adventures to buy ammo & shooting AK’s at stolen pumpkins like a little shit.
Marinating with Canadians, learning to two-step & falling for a cowboy at Buffalo Chip.
Getting bogged in the snow in a hire car at 2am with no reception or idea.
Climbing canyons, falling off cliffs, choking on Fireball & facing my Coyote fear.
Vegas. Um. Next…The best turkey sammich I’ve ever tasted in my life, that’s like Christmas in my face, without a word of a lie.
Tex-Mex & so much ‘meat’, one of all God’s creatures grilled on a plate.
Teaching everyone that “bloody wanker” is just another word for ‘mate!’
Rodeos, a few more rodeos & would you know, another rodeo.
Left hand driving just blowing my mind & riding rumble strips several miles at a time.
Constantly laughing until I couldn’t breathe & my eyes sprung a leak.
Honky tonk, country music & red solo cups full of beer that is so bloody weak.
Discovered Fried Pies, American Candy, Waffles with craters the size of my face.
& what the bloody hell is with potatoes at breakfast, my ass is already the size of space!
So much more that I could say, but I’ll save it for another day.
To my ‘Merican tribe, hand on my heart, I appreciate you all so bloody much.
I can’t wait to see you gorgeous crumpets again soon. As for the exact date (it’s exciting) y’all better stay tuned.
Your favourite idiot
PS. You bloody beauties are stuck with me now (poor buggers).
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